By Sarah Cane-During,
Senior Advocacy Supervisor
“Why do some parents care about hair so much? What is the big deal about hair? Why does hair even matter?”
Questions like this are common among foster parents and CASAs alike, particularly those who are white. For the most part, black parents are well-aware of why hair matters.
A quick google search on the topic of black hair care and adoption or fostering will reveal a wealth of blog posts, articles, interviews, YouTube videos, opinion pieces, and Facebook groups that detail the importance of hair in the black community. It seems like overkill to write another piece like that here, so I will link to a few of those pieces below. What I will note here, however, is that caring for a child’s hair, especially a black child’s hair, is indisputably an important part of parenting and fostering. You wouldn’t neglect to put sunscreen on a fair skinned child, would you? Or neglect to cut their finger nails? Or neglect to wash their hair? When it comes to parenting a black child, engaging in appropriate hair care is as essential as washing the hair of a white child on a regular basis.
Making sure that a black child’s hair fits in with cultural norms means ensuring that it is moisturized, put in a protective style, and/or shaped up. This shows respect for that child’s culture, their family, and their own person. Neglecting to follow the numerous tips online for white parents parenting black children shows a lack of respect for that child’s culture, family, and person.
Whether you are a CASA volunteer, foster parent, child welfare worker, or interact with children in another capacity, it essential that we push back against the negative narrative that hair doesn’t matter. How can we do that?
Educate yourself! Read online about the importance of black hair care. Below there are a number of linked articles about this topic
If you are a CASA and you hear a foster parent expressing confusion about how to handle hair, help him/her out!
o Google local salons and give them those numbers.
o Print out some online tips and articles.
o Send them links to YouTube videos.
o Suggest that they join the many Facebook groups that discuss this topic: Hair to <3, and Multiracial Families Discuss is the one I belong to, but I know there are more!
·Always reinforce with foster parents that hair care is an important part of care taking.
o Remind them it shows respect to the biological parents to have the child’s hair “done” (braided, in twists, shaped up, etc.) in an appropriate style.
o Remind them it shows the child that you care about them fitting in and feeling good about themselves.
o Remind them it will help keep the child’s hair healthy!
·Show support for effort! What works might require some effort on the part of the foster parent: trying different products, experimenting with styles to see which ones last long (a child with long hair should be styled in such a way that it is not being redone frequently, protective styles prevent breakage), finding salons that will work with the child’s attention span, determining tricks to getting the child to sit still, etc. That effort is worth it! Express your support for this effort! Comment on new braided styles and praise them!
Notice if the child’s hair looks unkempt and, if the foster parent is a white parent caring for a black child, offer assistance in this area. Do not be afraid to speak up about it in a caring way. The biological parents will notice, peers will notice, and the DCP&P caseworker will often notice. Give the foster parent a safe space to ask for assistance from you. If you don’t feel comfortable giving further tips, call us at the office and we will find a way to provide help and support to the foster parents in this area.
Above all, we are here for the best interests of our CASA children. And it IS in their best interests to have their culture uplifted and respected. Part of that is hair care!
For further reading see the following:
https://adoption.com/african-american-hair-care-unexpected-adoption-hurdle/
https://adoption.com/more-than-just-hair-understanding-significance-of-african-american-haircare
https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/transracial-adoption/hair-care-african-american-boys/
https://nataliekristeen.com/blog/raising-kids-of-color-good-hair-care-is-absolutely-necessary