Carol Costello
Passaic County CASA Advocacy Supervisor
I watch a lot of TV – too much really. And like many of us, I use TV to escape. I don’t want to be reminded about the world around me. So when Netflix’s algorithm suggested I watch a new series called Maid, I assumed it would fit my usual escapist criteria. I settled in one evening to start watching and was quickly drawn in.
The opening scene of a young woman fleeing from her partner in the middle of the night with her toddler daughter was compelling enough that I had to continue watching. However, it turns out that Maid is not quite the escapist fiction I thought it would be. As I watched the first few episodes, I found I was not only interested in the characters and the story, but many of the scenes and issues were reminiscent of issues we see all too often at CASA.
Based on a memoir by Stephanie Land, “Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive”, the story revolves around a young mother named Alex who flees an abusive relationship and her subsequent struggles to get help and make a life for herself and her daughter. She turns to local public agencies for assistance but soon finds herself in a morass of bureaucratic requirements and catch-22s. Sleeping in her car with no money, she discovers that she has to show employment to qualify for housing. However, to secure the child care she needs to actually be able to start and hold down a job, she must have already worked for several weeks.
Alex’s isolation from her abusive partner narrowed her support options among friends, and her mentally ill mother often causes additional damage and stress. Seeing Alex’s struggles on the screen really brought home to me the daily obstacles that many CASA parents and older independent youth have to regularly confront. It can feel impossible to navigate the court system and public assistance programs alone. Watching Alex’s life, even if just in 1-hour episodes, was a sobering reminder about the hoops our system makes people jump through in order to access services. Not only must they navigate a myriad of requirements with limited support and resources (such as stable family/friends, money, transportation, a working phone, etc.) but the individuals are often dealing with issues of substance abuse, domestic violence, mental illness and previous trauma.
Since stumbling upon Maid myself, I have read and heard a lot about it in the media. The show has really taken off and gotten people talking, which is a good thing. While it undoubtedly is a stylized and glossy version of what life can be like for individuals caught in cycles of poverty, mental illness and abuse, the show does humanize these issues for its audience. I hope it will inspire some compassion and empathy toward people who are struggling. There are real life “Alexs” struggling everywhere, including Northern New Jersey. The scenarios she faces in the show are all-too-familiar to myself and my colleagues at CASA. Emerging from a dysfunctional home life and trying to start over from scratch is hard, whether you’re 18 and “aging out” of foster care or a young mother escaping domestic violence. My hope is that this show reaches other audience members like me, who were only looking for escapist entertainment, and that they come away with their eyes opened, and perhaps their hearts as well. If that includes you, please visit www.passaiccountycasa.org to learn how you can help.