The Problem with Sex Education and Teens in Foster Care

By Juliana Oelkers
Marketing Intern

For kids, Valentine’s Day is one of the most exciting days of the year. It’s all about sharing valentines with classmates, eating lots of heart shaped candy, playing games, and celebrating love between family and friends. As children become young adults, Valentine’s Day, relationships, and love become a lot more complicated. Quality sex education and healthy relationship development are so crucial for teens to receive, yet many youth in foster care are not being served on the level they deserve.

Navigating sex is hard for any young adult, but with a lack of social support and stability at home, teens in foster care are at even more of a disadvantage than their peers. Many in the child welfare system are not receiving consistent sex education due to constant new placements. Fifty three percent of foster youth were unaware that condom use can decrease their risk of getting HIV/AIDS and other STIs. Only three percent reported using a condom during sex in the last three months. This is why teens in foster care report higher rates of unintended pregnancy, STD’s, and risky sexual behavior than their peers, all of which can lead to a decline in academic success as well.

There is also an undeniable link between sexual abuse and the youth in the foster care system. Could this be because youth in foster care cannot access information about sex, consent, and healthy relationships? Regardless of a child’s living situation, often no amount of education can prevent sexual abuse, but hopefully being educated on appropriate relationship behaviors can help empower young teens to know when their relationships are abusive and toxic. Getting this information is so crucial in order for them to recognize unacceptable and abnormal sexual behaviors from partners or anyone else in their lives so they can speak to caring adults in their lives to ask for help.

Information about LBGTQ+ relationships is also barely included, if at all, in many sex education curriculums. LGBTQ+ youth are over represented in foster care, making this another gap in the child welfare system that puts foster youth at a disadvantage. If and when teens in foster care finally do receive sex education, it is ineffective if that education is not LGBTQ+ inclusive because so many of them (5-10%) are members of that community.

Thrive New Jersey, a coalition of health agencies and advocacy groups in the state, recently graded the state with a “C”  in its 2019 report card detailing how sexual health and sexuality are taught in schools to all children across our state.

Our CASAs provide support, resources, and referrals that teens often desperately need. A few credible sources of information include:

•     Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine: This organization has already compiled a comprehensive list of resources on anything you can think of. It includes informational resources, ‘Ask Alice’ blogs, useful apps, and helplines.

•    GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network): This is a great starting off point to get reliable information for LGBTQ+ teens

•    Advocates for Youth: This organization offers free online lesson plans in English and Spanish that cover all the national sexual education requirements and are available for all age ranges.

•    Sexetc.org: is one of the most popular and comprehensive sex ed resources by teens for teens in the U.S. providing accurate and relevant stories and blog posts.

Lack of sexual education leads to unhealthy relationships, decreased academic performance, and health risks. When teens in foster care have access to this type of education, there is one less obstacle in the way of achieving stability and normalcy in their lives.

(Information gathered from Public Health Post  and Healthychildren.org)

Volunteer Spotlight on Maggie Waitts

By Laura Warne
Communications Coordinator

Maggie Waitts’ first visit with her CASA teenagers was rough, to say the least.

Two years ago, Maggie, who is January’s volunteer of the month, was assigned to her first volunteer case: 16 and 17-year-old sisters. Maggie’s first visit was at the girls’ new foster home. One of the teens spent the entire visit facing the wall and playing on her cell phone.  The older girl was sweet, but somewhat standoffish.

“It was like that for many, many months,” Maggie said.

Maggie may have been frustrated, but she didn’t complain. Instead of throwing in the towel on these two severely traumatized girls, she remembered why the sisters were acting out in this way. 

“These kids have been through a lot in their lives,” she said.

So what did Maggie do? How did she handle the situation with her new CASA kids?

“I just kept showing up,” she said.

Maggie began visiting the sisters twice per month and between visits, she communicated regularly with their school counselors to monitor their education.

“Little by little they came around and saw that I wasn’t going anywhere,” Maggie said. 

Now, Maggie meets with the teenagers at least once per week. With Maggie’s advocacy, one girl has become fully independent and the other is living with a family member. They are both on a path to a safe, happy, and healthy future.

“It’s such a blessing, these two children in my life,” Maggie said. 

Besides spending time with the teens, Maggie’s favorite part of being a CASA is representing the girls’ best interests at court during their hearings.  

“Once we’re in there, I feel like I’m there for these kids. I’m there to make sure that what they need comes across.”

During the court hearings, Maggie has noticed that she and other CASA volunteers often have the most up-to-date and accurate information about their assigned cases and children, which helps the Family Court Judge make the best decisions about the children’s futures.

Maggie joined CASA after first learning about the volunteer position while serving on jury duty in Essex County. As the presenter explained the CASA role to the jury pool, Maggie sat up straight and wide eyed, and eagerly asked for a brochure with more information. However, at that time, she was running her own business and working 10 - 12 hours per day; being a CASA volunteer just wasn’t in the cards then.

When Maggie retired, she finally had free time. Maybe a little too much free time.

 “I was thinking, ‘What am I going to do with my life?’” she said. 

A chance meeting with another CASA volunteer reminded Maggie about how excited she was when she learned about CASA at jury duty. Maggie ran home and filled out the application later that same day.

Thanks to jury duty, Maggie’s retirement has taken on new life. 

“Being a CASA volunteer has been one of the most rewarding experiences,” she said.

When she’s not volunteering with CASA, Maggie spends time with her two dogs, Sophie and Lucas, at her home in North Caldwell and mentors other women as part of a twelve-step program.

Meet the CASA Staff: Ten Questions for Jill Rebeor

Name: Jill Rebeor
Title: Advocacy Supervisor
CASA Employee Since: May 2018

1)       What did you do before you worked at CASA?

I was a Child Protection Specialist with the Administration for Children’s Services in New York, which entailed receiving reports of alleged abuse and neglect and investigating them by visiting a child’s home and school.

  2)       Describe your job in five words.

A Little Bit of Everything.

 3)       Can you describe what a typical day looks like for you?

Talking with my volunteers, writing and editing court reports, going to court, and reading Optima contact logs.

4)       What is the best part about working for CASA?

Every day is different. This job also provides greater control over my schedule compared to previous jobs I’ve had.

5)       What is the craziest/most unusual thing you’ve done in the name of serving children in foster care?

I was 22 and just out of college, working as a Caseworker in Georgia. I had to take a child to a new foster home and she did not want to go, so she tried to run away and ran towards the street. I kicked off my heels and chased her barefoot through the mud .

6)       When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I went through a brief phase where I wanted to be an astronaut.

7)       What is your go-to comfort food?

Cheese and crackers, plus some white wine.

8)       What personality trait has gotten you in the most trouble?

My sarcasm and lack of filter.

9)       What celebrity have people said you resemble or remind them of?

Katy Perry!

10)   If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three items would you bring?

My cell phone, some friends, and a fully chartered yacht.

Starting the year from a place of gratitude

By Pamela Saunders
Office and Finance Manager

Some years ago, when my son was two and a half, I received the heartbreaking news that he had been diagnosed with Autism.  I was told by my pediatrician and other professionals that he may never speak, would not progress in school, and would never live independently.  I was faced with the future they laid out before me: no school prom, no college, no career, no wedding, and no children. I felt cheated for my son’s future.

But as with many people who are put in situations they did not plan for, I put one foot in front of the other and carried on each day.  I endured back-to-school nights listening to other parents talk about their child’s accomplishments, awards, and college dreams, feeling slighted and resentful but not loving my son any less.

In 2016, the law firm I worked for closed after 21 years.  What was I supposed to do? Where was I supposed to go?  It was then that I joined the CASA staff and found myself privy to the stories and situations surrounding the children we serve.  Sometimes it seems like each story is more heartbreaking than the next.  I volunteered to advocate for two boys with special needs and fragile health, and another whose future did not seem very bright. 

Then it hit me.  Like a slap upside your head, sometimes life’s lessons are thrust upon you with so much force that it is very clear that somebody is trying to tell you something.  What was the message that someone clearly wanted me to get?  Appreciate the life you have been given as all life is precious. 

Children with special needs may not have the same milestones as the kid next door, but sometimes their milestones and life goals can be even more exciting when reached.  The simplest accomplishment is worth celebrating.   For the passion of my son’s love for life, sports, and friendships I AM GRATEFUL.  For my CASA kids who work hard each day at the simplest of tasks, I AM GRATEFUL. I appreciate that the tough road I’ve traveled was made easier with the support of family and friends.  I see every day that many, including my CASA kids do not have this support.  I am luckier than many I see and hear about every day. 

So for the love and support of family, friends, and my wonderful CASA family, I AM GRATEFUL.  And for the opportunity in 2020 to continue to impact the lives of children who need a CASA, I AM GRATEFUL.

Giving the gift of normalcy this holiday season

By Erica Fischer-Kaslander

“I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
(You want thingamabobs?
I got twenty)”

“Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid may not be a classic holiday tune. Yet as I was walking around our office this morning trying to make sense of the mass volume of holiday gifts donated to fulfill each of our children’s individual holiday wishes, for some reason “I’ve got gadgets and gizmos” is what started running through my head.

By the end of this week, more than 500 Passaic County youth will have received holiday gifts, thanks to the generosity of Passaic County CASA’s donors. We’ve seen everything from Chromebooks to Barbies, Legos to bicycles, karaoke machines to baby dolls.

Every year, I think to myself, “We couldn’t possibly top this.” Then another year comes and I’m again amazed by the volume of support our community shows for children who have been so traumatized.

This is our first holiday season in our new 4,700 square foot office space. Instead of squashing everything on top of each other like in years past, we now have 6 dedicated wrapping stations, each Advocacy Supervisor has a dedicated area for gifts, and there is a special refreshment station for volunteers. 

Many organizations provide holiday gifts for youth during this season. What makes our organization different is the reason that we conduct this holiday gift collection. We don’t just collect toys for the sake of giving toys for fun. We grant the specific wishes of each and every child in Passaic County’s foster care system. Just like you and I may fulfill our own child’s “Santa” list, we want our youth in foster care to experience a normal holiday season complete with a fulfilled wish list. Our holiday wish program is a component of our organizational value of normalcy. In short, “normalcy” is a term which means ensuring a youth who lives in an out-of-home living arrangement (foster care, residential treatment, group home, shelter, or similar) is able to live a life with experiences as close as possible to a child in a traditional family home environment. By fulfilling each child’s specific holiday wish, we are adding one more “typical” or “normal” experience to their childhood.

I need to share the immense amount of work that this effort takes. Over 100 volunteers have spent hundreds of hours organizing and wrapping each child’s wish list. In total, approximately 1,600 individual gifts were donated.

Holiday gifts, however, only give normalcy during the holiday season. What can give normalcy for life is a safe and permanent home, which our advocates work each and every day to help our children achieve. If you would like to join them in this effort in 2020, please join us at one of our upcoming information sessions to learn more or make a donation to support the training of a new volunteer advocate to ensure a child reaches normalcy for life.