By Jessica Mickley
Director of Outreach and Training
As the volunteer recruiter and training facilitator, I’ve answered dozens of questions from new and potential volunteers over the years. There is one question, however, that comes up again and again, at every information session and every training.
“Can we buy gifts for the children?”
There’s the simple answer to that question, and the more nuanced answer. But the simple answer is: “no.”
I remember one potential volunteer in particular who would not, could not accept my answer. She had heard that children in foster care were often given used clothing, linens, toys, and more, and why couldn’t the advocates purchase the children new things that would make them smile? To bring joy into their lives?
I paused, and took a deep breath.
“Yes,” I said, “we want to bring joy into their lives, of course. But I promise you, if you become an advocate, children in foster care need you, your voice, and your commitment more than they need the newest fad.”
At an organization level, Passaic County CASA makes sure that children in foster care have their basic needs met, but also the dignity and confidence that comes with a brand-new backpack or the latest pair of sneakers. But we, as individual CASA volunteers, need to refrain from purchasing items to give to our assigned CASA children. Here’s why:
The child or children will start viewing you as their gift giver instead of their advocate, and then they will come to expect physical things from you, instead of support
To maintain objectivity, we, as advocates, need to keep boundaries
The child’s resource parent should be providing for their basic needs from the stipend they are provided by the state. If they aren’t, that’s a big problem and it should be discussed with your supervisor
After the state shut down and Passaic County CASA entered pandemic operations, some volunteers began sidestepping the “no gift giving rule” a little. The Passaic County CASA office was closed, so the program organized collections of requested items for children but then it was difficult at times to pick up donated items for the CASA kids, and the children/youth were bored and home from school; they truly needed toys, games, and other enrichment activities to keep them busy and active. This is all to say: while we didn’t condone volunteers personally purchasing items for your CASA children, we do understand why some people did.
But now, we need to go back to abiding by that policy, in order to ensure volunteers maintain objectivity and the organization maintains its high reputation of ethics. If your CASA child/children, biological parents, and/or foster parents report that they need help getting certain items, here’s how you should proceed:
If your CASA child/children needs something outside of the norm (laptop, sports equipment, art supplies), CASA can help! We have some funding, although limited, to support these needs. Ask your Advocacy Supervisor for help. They may also have you mention the need in your court report.
CASA wants bio parents to succeed, especially if reunification is on the horizon. However, a majority of our funding needs to go to supporting the children, not their biological families. That being said, on a case-by-case basis, we may be able to help or be able to connect them to partner resources. Let your supervisor (and of course, your DCP&P caseworker) know if the biological parent has a serious need.
As mentioned above, foster parents receive monthly payments to help support the children in their care. If they are struggling to support their child, please alert your CASA Advocacy Supervisor and DCP&P caseworker. Your supervisor and the DCP&P caseworker may have resources to help the foster parent.
As I said before, your presence and your support mean more to the children than any gift ever will. Keep up with your persistent advocacy; that’s where you’re making the real impact.
If you have any questions about this policy, please contact Gina at gina@passaiccountycasa.org.