The Silver Lining of Online Education

By Juliana Oelkers
CASA Marketing and Communications Intern and student at Fairleigh Dickinson University

When I left school for spring break on March 7th, I never imagined that I would not be returning for the rest of the semester. Without so much as a goodbye, the school year as I knew it was over. All of our classes went online, something we all thought was impossible. Every kid across the nation has experienced this by now in the wake of COVID-19.

The switch to online school is unprecedented, daunting, and scary for everyone involved. Teachers and students alike must now learn new technologies, adjust to a new schedule, and change their whole learning process. At least that’s how it is for students who are lucky enough to have access to laptops and the internet. I am lucky enough to be able to go to class online and maintain somewhat of a normal routine.  

However, there are still those students who don’t have internet access and instead do packets in lieu of online classes. Parents are stepping up to help, but it’s hard for students to learn without all the resources they normally have. It is especially hard for those students whose parent’s first language isn’t English, as is the case for many CASA children.  

A quality education, proms, graduations, sports, and even meals provided by schools have all been taken away from students by COVID-19. But there are a few silver linings to online education. I have heard so many stories of teachers and professors doing the impossible for their students during this pandemic. Whether it be extending deadlines, canceling tests, or even driving around and delivering packets to each of their students, everyone is helping each other out in any way they can. Stories like this are a good reminder of how hard both teachers and students work, and that compassion can make even the worst of times a little better. 

Remote learning has also made me realize just how much I took school for granted. I miss my friends, my professors, and being present in a classroom. The hardest part is not knowing when things can go back to normal again. What I do know is that whenever we can finally go back to school, it will be with excitement and newfound appreciation (at least at first). For now, since online classes are my new normal, I’ve come up with  a few tips for more effective online learning: 

• For those who are meeting with their classes on video through platforms like Zoom, it’s important to leave your camera on during class. My professors don’t mind if I keep my camera off, but I’ve realized I’m more likely to pay attention and participate in class with it turned on because I know everyone is watching.  

• As much as possible, try to keep your school hours the same every week. Try not to skip class and even if your class isn’t meeting, keep the same hours for doing schoolwork. This will help you create a routine and a sense of normalcy during an otherwise crazy time.  

• Lastly, quarantine has shown me that communication is key. Try to check your email or school website as often as possible because news is constantly changing and new information about grades or tests could make a big difference.  

We all can’t wait for the day when we can hang out with our friends, see our teachers, go to school dances, sporting events, and yes, even sit in class. But then again, there is that silver lining: online education has taught us all some lessons that we wouldn’t have learned in class. Every student going through this has already become more resilient, resourceful, understanding, and better communicators. We will carry these skills with us after COVID-19 and when we are faced with ‘Sunday Scaries’ or our next big test, we will remember that we have already made it through much harder times. 

Even in Quarantine, We Can All Take Steps to Prevent Child Abuse

by Laura Warne
Communications Coordinator

Feeling anxious? Helpless? Does it feel like life has been turned upside down? Cut off from friends and family? For most of us in the NY metropolitan area, this has become our daily reality. It also means we’ve been given a small taste of what life is like for children who are removed from home after experiencing abuse or neglect.  

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and thanks to the COVID-19 crisis, the stressors that can lead to child abuse and neglect are at an all-time high.

• People are socially isolated from one another.

• They may be experiencing financial hardship.

• They are experiencing high levels of stress and uncertainty, and may increasingly turn to drugs and alcohol to cope.

• Government offices and programs are scaled back, and accessing services can feel harder than ever.

• Parents and caretakers are going without childcare, trying to juggle the demands of a stressful situation and still bring in a paycheck. 

However, hard times also tend to bring out the best in people. People are offering to grocery shop for their neighbors, and posting encouraging messages in their windows. People are buying meals for first responders and sewing masks in their living rooms. Therefore, it doesn’t seem like such a big ask that everyone takes action to keep children safe during this critical time. 

Even in the extraordinary context of quarantine, this is an effort we are asking you to undertake both within your own home and within your community. 

Parents and caretakers can start by recognizing if they are struggling and ask for help. If stress or anxiety is impacting your ability to properly care for the children in your home, get help. Reach out to a friend, a religious leader, or a mental health professional. More mental health professionals are available online now than ever before. If you are struggling with substance abuse, get help. If you are struggling to afford food or pay your bills, there are people who can help. Call 2-1-1 or visit www.nj211.org to be connected to services in your community. 

Some children may now be trapped in their homes with their abuser or exposed to abuse between parents. More than 80% of sexual abuse cases occur in isolated, one-on-one situations. Whether it is a parent, sibling, or other family member, if they are with a child, get in the habit of checking in at unexpected times and keeping the door open. Make rules about which areas of the home are off-limits such as the basement or attic. 

Make sure to also keep lines of communication open with your children and tell them they can always confide in you without fear of punishment. Teach them to speak about their bodies without shame, and help them understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching. The website Darkness to Light has some wonderful resources, including online trainings, to help you keep children safe from sexual abuse.

With children online during this quarantine more than ever, we need to keep them safe from virtual predators. Limit computer use to areas where their use can be supervised, and consider using programs such as FamilyTime, Qustodio, or Circle by Disney to control accessible content. Teach children to never give out personal information, and have an age-appropriate conversation about what should be shared online. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has a wonderful online safety education program for children to watch.

Within your community, keep a mental inventory of children on your street. Be observant on daily walks and/or call neighbors periodically to say hi and see how they are doing. Encourage children to call or video chat with their friends, and ask them how their friends are doing. Children are highly observant, and even if they don’t fully understand what is going on in the lives of their peers, they often sense when something isn’t right or someone is acting differently. If anything seems amiss, call the NJ Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline 24/7 at 1-877-NJ-ABUSE. 

If you are in a position to do so, share on a community social media page that you are able to help with donations of food or household supplies to anyone who needs it, and ask people to contact you privately. Your help could lessen the burden someone is facing.

The unfortunate reality is that the above actions won’t protect all children. Only time will tell what toll this crisis takes upon the children in our area. The good news is that you can be a part of their recovery by training now to become a Court Appointed Special Advocate. Passaic County CASA is now offering a fully virtual training program which you can access from home. By the time it is completed, you’ll be ready and able to work with children in foster care who urgently need you. By developing relationships with these children and advocating for their needs, you’ll be able to make a major impact in mitigating the long-term damage from abuse or neglect. 

Leading during a pandemic: a story of vulnerability and acceptance

By Erica Fischer-Kaslander
Executive Director

It’s now officially been one month since my children have gone to school, one month since I sent CASA staff home to operate remotely and one month since we’ve lost our sense of normalcy. 

By the week of March 12, I had already been paying attention to the spread of COVID-19 for more than a month. It appeared on my radar in January, when I attended the International Child Maltreatment Conference in San Diego, along with 6 other CASA staff, at the same time that first case was diagnosed in California. We had the idea that it may eventually come to New Jersey and by February we had begun to develop operational contingency plans. But despite that preparation, even as I sat in our training room on March 11, 2020 to give instructions to my staff of 15 about our plan moving forward, I was scared. There was no playbook for leading through a pandemic. They had questions I couldn’t answer and I was flying by the seat of my pants. I was pretending to be confident in my decisions and trying to instill confidence in my team who are exceptionally talented on a good day, but  a pandemic had rendered even them human. 

Those who’ve known me for a while know that I have an unwanted reputation among my family and friends for being the queen of crisis management. I’m the one who steps in when the crazy gets crazier or when bad gets worse with the ability to be calm and plan methodically. I’ve somehow ended up the designated funeral planner, healthcare decision maker, natural disaster expert, and so much more. When the stakes are high, it seems to be my comfort zone. I expected my ability to be the same for this COVID-19 pandemic but I have to say I was wrong. For the first time, I was out of my comfort zone. I questioned myself, I questioned my team, and I questioned the authorities. 

A month later, I realize that it’s ok. 

It’s ok to be uncomfortable right now because no one knows what to do. No one knows the answer and this isn’t anyone’s comfort zone.  Just like our healthcare system, governing bodies, and others, I’ve made and changed policies for our CASA staff and advocates umpteenth times since March 12. And that’s ok. Change is hard and this many changes so rapidly is exponentially harder. Some people accept and roll with change better than others but regardless it’s ok to not be ok.      

More than ever, I’ve learned an important part is to communicate when you are uncomfortable so others around you can support you and understand.  After sharing a particularly trying decision around our ability to visit children face to face, knowing that this decision would impact the safety and welfare of hundreds of children, I broke into tears. For 13 years, I had preached about the importance of regular face-to-face contact, and now I just sent out the complete opposite message, telling our team they shouldn’t visit our children in person. It felt like treason to my own values.  One of my colleagues came up with the simple reassuring words of “You did great. That was the right call.” I will always be grateful for that moment. In a split second I taught myself vulnerability is good, and reassurance for each other is even more important than ever. We are all in this together. 

In this last month, I’ve learned a lot about myself, my colleagues, and our work. Passaic County CASA was born 13 years ago at my hand-me-down beat up kitchen table. I worked for months to get our first office space and was so excited when we had a “real” office to go to. It was then that I felt like the agency was real and had risen from a thought to a reality. Now, 13 years later, it was the COVID-19 pandemic that brought Passaic County CASA back home. We forwarded the mail to my home, the phones to each staff member’s cell phone, and set up the remote login to our server. The operational heartbeat of Passaic County CASA is now scattered across Northern New Jersey in 15 different locations. Yes, there are definitely things we aren’t able to do but we’ve found a way to do just about everything else. Virtual trainings, telephonic court hearings, FaceTime home visits, Zoom staff meetings and more. Now after a month of remote pandemic operations, and thirteen years after leaving home the first time, I have realized the office was never what made us “real” to begin with. It’s always been our people. 

Through it all we have stayed connected and encouraging, always checking in, cheering each other on, and laughing when we thought maybe we wanted to cry.  It is the people of our child welfare world here in Passaic County that make this crazy system work--our own CASA staff, our volunteers, our Judges, our attorneys, our DCPP caseworkers and managers, and our amazing community partners. This pandemic month has broken down the walls of offices and somehow brought us closer than ever. Now don’t get me wrong, I wish this pandemic had never happened to begin with. However, under the circumstances, I couldn’t ask for a better result. We’ve gained friendships and partnerships, built stronger relationships across the distance, and been more creative than ever in our tireless goal of ensuring children’s best interests are met. It’s only been one month but it’s clear that the lessons I’ve learned will stay with me long after COVID-19 is gone. 

When your compassion well runs dry

By Jessica Mickley
Director of Outreach and Training

The other day, I was in my car (don’t worry, I was headed somewhere essential) when I spotted two teenage girls, walking side by side down the street. I was immediately suspicious, followed by annoyed. And then angry. I glared as I drove past.

My incredibly stressed and worn-out self assumed that they were breaking the rules of social distancing. 

Now, there’s a good chance that they were, against all current guidelines, getting within six feet of someone they do not live with. There is also the possibility that they are sisters who are very close in age. What frightened and frankly disappointed me was how quickly I went negative. I didn’t hesitate to judge and silently admonish those two. 

I facilitate a training about empathy, yet in that moment, I had zero. 

My experience has a name: compassion fatigue.

There are two definitions of compassion fatigue:

• the physical and mental exhaustion and emotional withdrawal experienced by those who care for sick or traumatized people over an extended period of time

• apathy or indifference toward the suffering of others as the result of overexposure to tragic news stories and images and the subsequent appeals for assistance

My coworkers and I have been working nonstop since day one of the COVID-19 pandemic. The management team has been adjusting our advocacy model to fit this new reality; advocacy supervisors are helping the volunteers find new, often out-of-the-box ways to support our children and families; and the communications team is on a mission to keep our advocates, donors, and supporters up to date on Passaic County CASA operations, even while everything is rapidly changing.

We are all pushing ourselves because we genuinely care about the children and families we serve. Plus, my coworkers and I all recognize that the negative effects of COVID-19 will go way beyond health outcomes. During and after a crisis, the rate of child abuse and neglect almost always increases. We are anxiously anticipating this wave of new children entering the child welfare system.  

Overall, I’ve been feeling pretty good, or “as well as can be expected,” like I’ve been signing my emails. Not great, but still very focused on Passaic County CASA’s mission. Like my coworkers, I’ve been overwhelmed with concern for the children, families, and communities devastated by this crisis. My empathy and compassion for them all has run deep.

For all except, of course, those two poor teenagers. 

My colleagues, my family, the children we serve, and yes, even those teenagers, deserve me at my most empathetic and compassionate. So I jumped into gear. 

Since that day, I’ve compiled a list of tools to help me, and hopefully also you, address compassion fatigue:

• Practice self compassion

  My compassion fatigue didn’t just affect my empathy toward others; it had drilled away at my kindness and compassion toward myself. Now, when I start to beat myself up, I take a deep breath and say, sometimes aloud, “You’re doing fine. You’re living through a pandemic. You’re doing the best you can!” 

• Get outside

  I love the sunshine and a cool breeze almost more than anything, yet I was depriving myself of these simple pleasures, partially, I think, because of a fear of going outside, and partially because I’m supposed to be using all this “free” time to be productive (see previous bullet). Turns out grass beneath your feet cures almost all.

• Revisit an old hobby

  I used to be a ballet and jazz dancer, but somehow abandoned this favorite hobby along the way. I recently found a weekly Zoom dance party that has been an absolute joy.

These three tools got me back to feeling almost like my normal self. There are plenty more tools out there (click here for one resource) that may work better for you. I implore you to find try out some strategies for yourself, before compassion fatigue strikes and you end up as a grown woman in her car, glaring at two teenage girls.

Keep your distance and still make a difference

By Jessica Mickley
Director of Outreach and Training

Right now, we need to come together and yet somehow, still keep our distance. 

The only way we will “flatten the curve” is if each of us switches our thinking from a self-centered mindset to a community-oriented one. Maybe as an individual, I have the health, resources, and privilege to hopefully survive COVID-19, but that doesn’t mean everyone does. If the simple act of staying inside even has the potential to save lives, count me in.

But that doesn’t mean social distancing is ideal. I am used to a semi-busy schedule, filled with yoga classes, concerts, movie nights, volunteering, and more. Most of these activities have been halted; they just aren’t compatible with social distancing. Fortunately, there is one activity that fits perfectly with this time of self-quarantining and social isolation: becoming a CASA volunteer. 

For all of us, it is more important than ever to have a sense of community and belonging. When you become a CASA volunteer, you become part of a group of caring, strong-minded, and dedicated advocates who all have one thing in common: they believe that all children deserve a chance at a bright future. On your way to becoming a CASA volunteer, you will meet and interact with new people and create a brand-new support system for yourself. 

For children involved in the foster care system, an advocate is exactly what they need right now. These kids are currently coping with this pandemic, as well as their everyday lives, without their parents by their side. With schools closed and social distancing in place, children in foster care will have a difficult time maintaining connections with their friends and teachers. As a volunteer, you will provide a constant person during this crazy time. Through regular phone chats, video calls, and e-mails, you will offer essential support to both the child and their resource parents, and ensure that all of the child’s needs are met. 

Our next CASA training will be facilitated entirely online, so you can be on your way to becoming a CASA volunteer almost immediately. Participating in our CASA volunteer training will not only prepare you to advocate on behalf of children involved in the child welfare system; it will also keep your brain active and give your mind a likely much-needed break from COVID-19. Our volunteer training includes activities and discussions designed to challenge participants and make them think deeply about topics like culture, diversity, parents’ rights, neglect vs. poverty, and more. 

This is a difficult time, but it doesn’t also have to be lonely and without purpose. Join a community, support a child, and make a difference, all from a safe distance away.

Attend our virtual information session on Saturday, March 28, 10 - 11 a.m. to learn more.